If you haven’t figured it out by now, I have a pretty sweet divorce.
After five years of a fairly decent, yet disappointing marriage, Ex-Husband and I split up. Once I got past the brief period of post-divorce insanity and worked through the awaiting rotten emotional garbage, I was exactly where I wanted to be: On my own, starting over, with endless possibilities! Ahh… delicious divorce.
Now, a few years later, Ex-Husband and I have a respectful relationship, that even somewhat resembles a friendship. Braden, Ex-Husband and I all benefit from the rewards of our cooperative, drama-free co-parenting arrangement. Braden’s dad and I have both moved on and found more fulfilling relationships with new significant others, and we’re genuinely happy for each other. It’s not uncommon to see any combination of the five of us at an event or one of our homes. (Well, one combination is uncommon: My boyfriend and Ex-Husband’s Girlfriend alone together might raise an eyebrow…)
It wasn’t until recently that I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know Ex-Husband’s Girlfriend. They have been together for a little over two years now, but she and I only just started to interact beyond a brief “hello” within the last couple of months. I never imagined our relationship would blossom into what it has.
It began on email. Then we exchanged digits. Next, a dinner “date” (as Ex-Husband calls it, to poke fun at her). We had such a great time at dinner that we sat at that table for three hours! Did I call it dinner? I meant to say “at bottle of wine with some food on the side.” We shared stories, laughter and even a few tears. Going into the dinner, I was a little worried that it might be awkward — but it turned out to be anything but.
We found out that we have a lot in common, which I think was a surprise to both of us. We also learned about our extreme differences in upbringing and adult lives. I talked about coming to the decision to divorce and the struggles and rewards associated with that decision, and she discussed the decision to enter into a serious relationship with a single dad and the struggles and rewards associated with that.
Our dynamic is so interesting, so rewarding and so amazing that even I can’t find words to explain it or express my appreciation for it. Because this wonderful woman has entered my son’s life with an open mind and an open heart, we have been able to spend time together on each of the last three holidays – Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Day. Today, she, Braden and I went out to lunch and then to see The Princess and the Frog. We had a blast! Braden beamed with excitement the entire time. We agreed to have these girls’ days with Braden on a regular basis. Family takes on a whole new meaning when it’s one you choose.
Ex-Husband’s girlfriend isn’t a mother, nor an ex-wife — so coming into our situation was a huge life adjustment. One that I am so grateful that she committed to making. Through my relationship with her, I’ve learned that we can find some of our most amazing blessings in the most unexpected places. Hers are not easy shoes to be in, but she wears them so very well.
For these reasons, Ex-Husband’s girlfriend is, without a doubt, the icing on my divorce cake!
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